trauma!

First experience with trauma! Yesterday we took the kids out for our first stroller-walk around town. We decided to cruise by the house of some friends who also have twin boys and were kind enough to give us the stroller we were using. We thought what better place to visit than their house in the maiden voyage of the double stroller?

As we were outside visiting with them and showing off our new babies, a neighborhood cat was milling around. After about 20 minutes of talking, and without warning, the cat jumped from the ground into the stroller! As he was in mid-flight, I caught him out of the corner of my eye and tried bat him away. I was almost in time but the cat, freightened at my defensive action tried to get off the stroller as soon as he landed but in the process, scratched Twin A in the head! It was mild, but traumatic nonetheless!

Fortunately, we were right in front of our friend's house, and they have a soap making business so they sprung into soap and water cleaning action within 30 seconds of the event. Then we put some antiseptic ointment on Twin A and tried to calm down. He was more started at being suddenly woken then he was by the scratch.

Lesson learned: Stroller should have first aid kit inside it. Cats are terrible and Twin A is a tough hombre.

bonding.

Before we became parents, my wife and I both had experiences where friends of ours with singletons made comments on how instantaneous their love and bond with their child was. Not knowing what this experience was like, I fully expected to have the same emotions/feelings towards my kids. The other day, my wife and I discovered that we both do not. This is not to say that we do not love our children! But upon further discussion, we figured out that being a twin parent means a different pace of connection. Part of the connecting force (pure speculation of course) of a single baby is the team-work and bonding between the parents as well as the child. This triangulation of bonding if you will, allows for all kinds of focus and energy to be directed towards the baby.

But with twins, we are still working on figuring out who is who. Really. Plus, when one of us is burping the other is changing or feeding the other and then we swap. This little dance goes on every 2.5-3 hrs. This extra work leaves little time to sit back and enjoy the sights and sounds of our little ones. Although I have to say that listening to their little bleats does make me smile.

I did have a breakthrough moment this morning at 5 Am. Twin B was crying in the other room and without hesitation (and while mostly asleep) I said to my wife, that's "[Twin B] I know his cry." I was right. Maybe I'll just close my eyes and listen to identify who is who!

They other thing that we are getting used to is the fact that changing babies is a pain in the butt. Multiply that by two and it is enough to drive you crazy. I am sure ALL parents feel this way, especially at the beginning. If anyone out there is purchasing a baby gift or is expecting a baby, avoid, like the plague, snaps. Those cute little outfits with all those little snaps are my little personal bad place. Zippers good, snaps bad. This is especially true when you just finished feeding, burping, changing the diaper and then the outfit to lay the wee one down and the spit-up fairy pays a visit. It never fails, only after all the work was done!

So remember, next time you go to the store to look at baby clothes...especially for twins, snaps suck.

like a cold splash of water.

Home. It is hard. Twins. Harder. That is the conclusion I have come to over the past few days. All through the pregnancy, people would comment about the sleep deprivation and the constant feeding/changing. But like anything painful, you can't know what it feels like until you know what it feels like.

The help that has come to our rescue has been unbelievably necessary. Nonna (as she prefers) has been the most amazingly helpful and necessary addition to our household as I can think of. She has helped us shop, do laundry, cook, change, burp and clothe the babies and anything else. If you are expecting a baby (and twins especially) GET HELP after coming home from the hospital.

But the Misses is having a hard time recovering and that is making things a bit more challenging than anticipated. Also unexpected is how dang long it takes for Twin A to burp. 15 min, 20 min, 30 min...45 min sometimes. And if you don't burp him, watch out because some carpet/couch/clothes are going to take a direct hit.

Observations thus far:

Twin A: (defined by being closer to the cervix during pregnancy)

First to squawk, first to calm down. Higher pitched wail when naked, acts like he doesn't need to cuddle with Twin B. Less of an appetite and much more of a fighter when it comes to changing time. Legs crossed and pee-shooter out.

Twin B:

Lover not a fighter. Likes to cuddle with Twin A when sleeping and is fairly mellow. He will not cry very easily, but when he does he gets going and calms down less easily. Right before a latch on the old milk factory, likes to let out a squeal of either delight or fright. I can't tell yet. Monster eater and much more alert when awake. Caught him checking himself out in the mirror today.

Tomorrow is their one-week old day. Just painted Twin A's toe and finger nail today as we cannot still tell them apart. I can't tell you how maddening it is to try to bond with a baby only to realize you had the wrong baby in mind. Also today, Nonna and Grammy (the other white meat) gave each an introductory bath. That is a perfect illustration of what this week has been for us. Like a cold splash of water up the quester, we're just trying to control the shiver.

and so it begins...

Up front - WOW! My wife showed me why men are not cut out for this type of thing. Initially, we were supposed to check into the hospital at 8 AM on monday morning for her inducement. According to studies, identical twins should come out at 36 weeks to avoid extra complications. Sunday night we pre-gamed with lots of carbs and all kinds of discussion about what was ahead of us. 6 AM Monday morning the hospital called and said there was no room (due to a super-duper hectic night before) and to call back at noon. At noon, they said, "come in at 7 pm." So we did.

We slept that night in the hospital so the drugs could be administered. Little sleep for both of us. The next morning, pitocin ("pit" as it is commonly called here in the hospital) was added and we waited. We waited and waited. Every 30 min a nurse would up the dose until my wife as at "17 out of a possible 20". (Insert spinal tap joke here). All that time and 3 cm. Doctor came in and gave us a choice, go home and sleep a few nights and come back to try again...or break water. God bless my wife, her immediate response was "break the water." (she reasoned that she didn't spend the last night in the hospital for nothing). That was all it took. Within 15 min, contractions hit and they came every min for the next 4-5 hours.

No drugs. No pain meds. No epidural. Nothing. In what can only be referred to as "amazing" my wife delivered two perfectly healthy boys within 6 mins of each other. The boys look so good that people can't believe that they are not C-section babes!

Ok, initial twin parent moment. Conflict. Do I go over to the heater with the first baby (Twin A) or do I stay with my wife? Do I watch the delivery of the second, or do I comfort my child? Second thought of a first-time parent...of twins no less...I can't show favoritism! Even from the beginning! Equal treatment for all. Baby "B" was delivered 6 min later and both were taken to the NICU for observation for breathing issues. The breathing issues turned out to be no problem and as I type, the babies are doing great. No NICU!! YAY!

Now they have been poked, prodded, tested and so far everything is great. Now the challenge is figuring out feeding, changing, comforting, serving my wife, figuring out how to protect her sleep time, juggling visitors, communicating with well-wishers, and oh yes...sleep. Every parent talks about the sleep deprivation, but twin parents have a special look when they talk about it. Not that any parents' experience is any less significant, but twin parents have that little devilish look in their eye when they talk about the first 6 months. I have a feeling that I am about to go through the initiation it takes to learn that special look.

Tomorrow, we take these babies for test drives. Home.

Waiting....

I am starting this blog for the express purpose of documenting the first-time parenting experience with identical twin boys on the way. My wife and I have known since week 7 that we were having identical twins and as we approach the delivery date (T-minus...now) I thought it would be a good time to start writing.

We don't have a clue as to what parenting will look like, let alone with twins. We don't even have names after all this time. What we do have is a wonder and excitement about our adventure ahead. We have the blessing of God's peace and presence to shield us and guide our path. We have the joy of close and supportive family and friends on both sides.

My wife and I are excited. Our house (apt) is ready and our car seats installed. It is time to buckle up and hold on because the next entry will be after a life-changing event.